My Story

Elizabeth Smart. 

Read in February. 

The true story of a fourteen year old girl who was taken from her home and held captive for nine months. 

This book is not exiting, but it is interesting. There isn't a lot of emotion, it feels disconnected, but I liked that. I liked that I didn't want to read more because I was compelled by emotions, but because she deserves her story to be read. 

The only issues I had with the book were: The repetitiveness. So many times she makes the point that she was just a little girl, only fourteen. She was raped everyday. That's a tragic thing no one should have to go through, but it was said so many times it lost its meaningful impact after a while. The helplessness toward the end was very aggravating to me, that David was gone for seven days and the women just sat up there and starved. They weren't chained. They were perfectly capable of walking down that damn mountain to get something to eat, then going back so he wouldn't kill her family as she feared. I get that she was so scared he would hurt her family and that's why she stayed, but to just let herself starve to death when she could have gotten food rubbed me the wrong way. 

Those issues aside, her attitude is very uplifting. She thinks on the good memories of her family and the faithfulness of God. My favorite exerpt is when she said, "I don't think what happened to me was something that God intended. He surely would not have wished the anguish and torment that I was about to go through upon anyone, especially upon a child. But since that time, I have learned an important lesson. Yes, God can make some good come from evil. But even He, in all His majesty, won't make evil go away. Men are free. He won't control them. There is wickedness in this world." But she realized God is always near and she could still lean on Him, He would be there for her. A close second, and I think everyone's favorite part is the quote from her mother at the end.  “You be happy, Elizabeth. Just be happy. If you go and feel sorry for yourself, or if you dwell on what has happened, if you hold on to your pain, that is allowing him to steal more of your life away. So don’t you do that. Don’t you let him. There is no way that he deserves that. Not one more second of your life."

I can't recommend or not recommend this book. You're either interested or you're not. You either want to read her story or you don't. I wouldn't have known about it if it weren't for Bon's Book Club. When I read the description I wanted to read it, and I'm glad I did. 

My Sister's Grave

Robert Dugoni. 

Read in February. 

I loved My Sister's Grave. It starts strong, ends strong, and doesn't dull out in the middle. All around fantastic writing. 

The story is a homicide detective who's sister was kidnapped and murdered twenty years ago. She doesn't think the man convicted was the man who did it. Now her sisters body has been found and she finally has the chance to put it all together. To find out who really murdered her sister. Met with old friends and memories along the way, this story tugs at your heart and emotions in a powerful way. 

This is a short review, but I don't feel it's my place to give anything away. A lot of the thrill is in the mystery. 

I'll just say: the end-I did not see that coming!

You should definitely put this on your To Read list. 

My Sister's Grave (The Tracy Crosswhite Series) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1477825576/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_1Wm7ub0FFSS7Y

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1477825576/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_1Wm7ub0FFSS7Y

The No Cry Sleep Solution

Elizabeth Pantley. 

Read in February. 

When Aiden was a baby, I didn't read any sleep books. I did what came naturally to me, and it worked out great. We were happy and well rested. Having two kids is a lot more exhausting than one, and i found myself more tired and more prone to irritability and a quick temper or annoyance. I'm not proud of it. I'm working on it and I feel I'm doing much better with understanding my children and remembering they're just 3&1. They need my patience and guidance. At the recommendation of a friend, I purchased this book on my kindle app. It was exactly the reassurance I needed. All of the same things I did when Aiden was a baby. The same gentle and understanding attitude I had then, I have again for Carter. I'm disappointed in myself that I needed this reminder, but I'm glad this resource was here for me. Because I did need it, and I'm so thankful for it. It wasn't anything new for me, but it will be for some, and I just have to say it's worth reading. If you feel you need help or will need help, buy this and read it. You won't regret it. I promise!

Here's the authors website: http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071381392.php

Elevating Childcare: A Guide To Respectful Parenting

Janet Lansbury. 

Read in January. 

This is a fantastic book. Every parent should read it. As I read it, I copied out quotes that affected me. Things I feel I should work on, and things I want to remember. I'll let them speak for themselves in a moment. I've read a lot of books on childcare and parenting, and there are a few more I plan to read simply because I already own them. If I didn't, I wouldn't feel the need to buy anymore. This short book is basically all you need. While I feel reading parenting books is a great way to always keep your mind on how you behave, it does get to the point where it's too much information. You don't want to be constantly second guessing your instinct with all the conflicting information out there. It will make you irritable and give you a headache. If I were asked to recommend books to new parents, it would be three. Baby By The Numbers, Keep Calm And Parent On, and Elevating Childcare. As a supplemental book for sleeping, if needed, I'd recommend The No Cry Sleep Solution, but I'll talk about that in another post. Now it's time for Elevating Childcare to shine. These are the quotes that made the biggest difference to me, though the whole book is powerful. 

"We want to get care-giving duties over with. Diapering, feeding, bathing and bedtime are important opportunities to slow down and connect."

"People will forget what you said; people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou

"We all need someone who understands." - Magda Gerber

"Don't encourage distraction. It is common practice to distract a baby with a toy on the changing table to "get the job done." But this trains babies to not pay attention. Diaper changes, baths, and feedings are not dull, unpleasant chores for babies. Babies are interested in all aspects of their lives. They want to be included in each step of a task that involves them and be invited to participate as much as they are able."

"There are no wrong desires or feelings, just wrong ways of acting on them"

"My dear mom had never laid a hand on me, never punished me, and never yelled. But she clearly could not handle my feelings. The result was that I felt innately bad and wrong for ever having them. 

So I've made a special effort to accept all my children's emotions, especially their anger...to let them know that it's always okay for them to be mad at me. I'm not going anywhere."

"Would you rather have close proximity to a busy loved one all day long, or a few minutes of that loved one's undivided attention?"

"Focused attention is the glue that holds relationships together."

Chapter 28. I Think I Know Why You're Yelling

This whole chapter is perfect. I realized I would basically be copying the entire chapter, and I didn't want to do that. I want you to buy this book and give the author the credit she deserves. 

I'm very thankful to my friend for recommending this, and I really hope you choose to purchase and read it for yourself. 

Here is the authors website: http://www.janetlansbury.com

From Stardust

Stacey Sargent. 

Read January 7. 

One day. That's how long it took me to read From Stardust. Yesterday was my second time reading it, but it felt like the first time. The first time I read it, I stayed up until 1AM to finish it. (Great books must like to be finished at 1AM). 

Stacey does a wonderful job drawing the readers in and keeping them there. She gives you enough information that you think you're in the loop, but holds enough back to surprise you. She makes you feel for Scout, the main character, from the first page, and keeps the emotions flowing. The first tear slipped down my cheek during chapter ten, when Scout and her dad were talking about the day he met her mom. But if you think that means this is just a flimsy read for shark week, you're wrong. There were times (a lot of times) I held my breath. It is full of action and wonder. You'll forget it all takes place in a day. It also makes you think. It was written to use in a 7th grade classroom (innocence-also a plus) but has enough substance to keep the attention of adults as well. 

My favorite quote is :

           "You need you," Gil said, putting emphasis on the last word. "You are everything you need to be, and you'll be fine. You'll be great because...because you're you, and you're everything."

A beautiful story. One that I'll read again, and I recommend you do the same. 

From Stardust: An Elementum Novel by Stacey Sargent http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00O08L9BM/ref=cm_sw_r_udp_awd_oDRRub12E3K6Y

Keep Calm and Parent On

Emma Jenner. 

Read in December&January

I absolutely love Keep Calm and Parent On. 

There's a chapter on sleep. I don't agree with all of it, and I think that's ok. There's always take it and leave it in parenting/self help books for me. I understand where she's coming from, children need to cry sometimes just like adults. But I'm not comfortable letting my baby, who can't tell me with words yet how he's feeling, cry to sleep. Older kids, when you know that's just what they need, fine. Sometimes I just need to cry and get the extra tired out. There's a lot of other great helpful information in it though, even in that chapter actually. Especially on mothers judging other mothers. What I love most about any parenting book is that it gets me thinking and evaluating myself and keeps me mindful of my kids and that they need me. 

Those of you who read parenting books, why do you?

I feel like Carter (1) has a bit to go before some of this but it's definitely applicable to Aiden (3). Kids learning "no", applicable now. Me saying please instead of commanding, applicable now. Communicating the behavior I expect ahead of time, not applicable quite yet. Consequences, that's a little hard to enforce right now. They're easily distracted and likely won't remember a consequence. 

I feel a lot more comfortable with parenting when my child is talking more, communicating through sentences. I hate the guess work of the baby stage. I really liked the communication chapter. 

On encouraging independent play, rather than being available at all times, I could not agree more. It was especially helpful that Aiden could comfortably play by himself when I had Carter. The key was making sure he had quality time with me first. 

On overprotectiveness:

"Parents put so much pressure on themselves and try to control far too much."

"We don't need to stand guard over our children, but we do need to teach them, and then trust them."

This I wholeheartedly agree with, also. Kids are far more capable than we tend to think. We want to shelter them from all harm and we don't want to let them get into stuff for fear they could get hurt. 

I love these quotes on self-esteem: "building self-esteem should be about helping a kid feel ok when he's lost, not creating an illusion that he's won." "...give your child the encouragement and praise he needs to be himself, and the tools to handle the disappointments and hard knocks that will inevitably come his way."

I could go on and on. This is a great book. It has a lot of information and advice for common problem areas, all centering on your child being a person too. (Which I love.) I cannot recommend this book enough. It's awesome! 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1476739544/ref=redir_mdp_mobile?pc_redir=T1#